


you're the world that I wanna discover

by fonulyn



Series: the pinnacle of self-indulgence (aka my happy place) [4]
Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: 8), Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Found Family, M/M, Mentions of canon typical violence, Moving In Together, Piers Nivans Lives, Piers is alive and happy and healthy, a lil bit of blood mentions, friendships, ice hockey, so self indulgent you wouldn't even believe, vague background Jake/Sherry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fonulyn/pseuds/fonulyn
Summary: “So. This is it.” There was something like wonder in Piers’ voice as he breathed out the words, a touch disbelieving. He was standing right in the middle of what was going to become their living room but right now was only an empty space, hands in his pockets, eyes alight with excitement. He tilted his head to look back at Leon, a smile blossoming on his face. “You ready?”--Or the one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.
Relationships: Leon S. Kennedy/Piers Nivans
Series: the pinnacle of self-indulgence (aka my happy place) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1540780
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	you're the world that I wanna discover

**Author's Note:**

> this is my birthday present for myself this year 8) HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME! \o/
> 
> this series is like. exactly what the name says. the most self-indulgent thing _ever_ , and my happy place that’s been keeping me afloat for the past couple of weeks. be prepared for _multiple_ sequels for this totally necessary sequel lmao. 
> 
> (also I do not know how to handle scenes with more than three people at once pls forgive me)

“So. This is it.” There was something like wonder in Piers’ voice as he breathed out the words, a touch disbelieving. He was standing right in the middle of what was going to become their living room but right now was only an empty space, hands in his pockets, eyes alight with excitement. He tilted his head to look back at Leon, a smile blossoming on his face. “You ready?”

It sounded like a playful, joking question, but Leon could read the seriousness laced underneath. He mirrored the smile as he stepped closer, throwing an arm over Piers’ shoulders as he pressed close against his side. “I am.” Slowly he looked around the room, the bare walls that they could do with what they pleased, and he couldn’t ignore the swirling excitement in the pit of his stomach. 

“It makes sense,” Piers said, as if he still needed to sell the idea to Leon, like he was trying to give the sales pitch of the century. “Better to move somewhere we might stay for good instead of renting some small space for a few months and get bored of it, like, moving is always such a hassle and it’s not like we c—”

The words got cut off when Leon tilted his head and captured Piers’ lips with his own. The kiss was soft, more a chaste brush of lips on lips than anything else, but it did the job and shut Piers up. Leon couldn’t help but chuckle. “You don’t need to convince me again. I’ve already signed the papers,” he said softly, pausing to look straight into the other man’s eyes. For a second they stayed like that, before Leon added a “You’re stuck with me.”

That startled a laugh out of Piers. “Luckily!” He turned so he could slip an arm around Leon and pull him in, until they were chest to chest, grinning at each other. “It just feels too good to be true, you know. We’ve talked about this for _months_ and now we’re finally here, and I…” He shook his head a little, unable to find any words to adequately describe what he was feeling. So he just leaned in and kissed Leon again. 

This time it wasn’t quite as chaste as the one before. Leon held Piers’ head between his hands, cradling his face in his palms, and almost stumbled as he instinctively took half a step forward. Honestly Leon had expected the day to be filled with nerves and unease, as this was a huge thing for him, but now? There was nothing but excitement, butterflies swarming his insides, and he couldn’t _wait_ to start this new chapter together. Maybe the doubts would still come later, maybe the panic was lurking around the corner. But that was a bridge to be crossed when – and if – they came to it.

They jumped apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat, and in unison they turned to look at the doorway.

Chris was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, one eyebrow arched questioningly. “So, are you two done?” he asked, and although he aimed for an annoyed tone he couldn’t quite hold back the small grin that was tugging at his lips, he never could. “I’m not carrying the couch inside alone, so either of you going to come help me? Or shall I just sell it to the lowest bidder?” 

“No, I’ve got it,” Piers laughed, flashing Leon one more quick smile before detaching from him. There was a clear bounce to his steps as he followed Chris outside, and Leon watched the two go before turning back towards the empty room. Yeah, this was it. This was where they’d carve out a space for themselves. Something like home. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Leon, what did you pack in these boxes?” Claire complained loudly as she stepped into the room with a cardboard box. Theatrically she dropped it down onto the floor, wiping imaginary sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. “You owe me like… pizza and beer, at _least_.”

“We already promised to feed all of you,” Leon pointed out, amused, “it’s not like you need to start blackmailing me now. You were the one who wanted to come help with the move. Piers and I could’ve handled it on our own.” 

“Yeah I know,” Claire answered brightly, “but c’mon, it never hurts to have help! This way we’ll have everything carried in today, and everything organized tomorrow, while with the two of you alone would’ve taken a week.” She paused for a moment, grinning at him, before going on with clear emphasis. “You’re welcome.”

Leon couldn’t help but laugh. 

Truth to be told, unpacking the truck was a much quicker affair that Leon had thought it’d be. Claire had asked Sherry along, and Sherry had dragged Jake with her, and when Jake and Piers managed to somehow get into a dumb, stubborn show-off they did almost all of the work just between the two of them. Not that anyone else minded. 

When all the existing furniture and the piles of boxes were inside, even with most of the stuff in the wrong rooms, they agreed in unison that it was time for the promised pizza and beers. Chris was the fastest to claim a spot on the couch, and although it technically was a three-seater Claire sprawled on the remaining space so that it didn’t leave any room for anyone else. The pizza boxes were spread on the floor, the rest of the bunch sitting in a loose circle around them. 

Claire and Chris had their neverending argument about pineapple, enough to make Jake groan and give Leon a long look. “Do they _ever_ stop?”

“No,” Leon answered with a shrug, mouth half full of pizza. “Neither of them is ever going to back down.” 

Immediately Sherry gave a sage nod from where she was leaning her back against the couch, her feet placed in Jake’s lap. She didn’t even need to say anything and her agreement already seemed to get through to Jake, who only gave a small nod and a muttered “Fair enough.” He had slotted into the group surprisingly easily, even if he still kept giving everyone long, evaluating looks. But it was only fair. His trust needed to be earned.

Besides it wasn’t like Sherry had been a part of their get-togethers for that long, either. She had only moved back in town a couple of years ago, and maybe she was still finding her place in the group dynamic. 

They had ordered enough pizzas to feed a small army, but after they were done there was not a single crumb left. The day had been long, everyone was tired, and there weren’t any disagreements voiced when Chris suggested they all get some sleep and continue sorting through everything in the morning. 

So Claire herded them all into the bedroom, ignoring Chris’ protests that he wanted to rather sleep on the couch. The frame of the bed Piers and Leon had ordered hadn’t arrived, so they’d set the mattress on the floor for the night. It was one thing they’d decided to treat themselves with so it was well wide enough for three people, and no one dared to resist when Claire called dibs on the third spot. 

For herself and Jake, Sherry had brought an inflatable mattress that looked more than comical when Jake lied down, his feet hanging off the edge. It was meant for two people but apparently not for as tall people as Jake was. “Are you sure this wasn’t meant for children?” he grumbled, making it even more comical by swinging his feet a little bit. 

Sherry didn’t pay him any mind, but only claimed her place right next to him. She was more than comfortable, snuggled into a blanket and her eyes already closed. “You can go sleep on the couch if you want,” she said, nonchalantly, and with a groan Jake only arranged his long limbs again and settled down. 

“Why does Jake get to sleep on the couch and I don’t?” Chris asked from his corner. He had a spare mattress all for himself, as Claire had bribed him with the promise of that when she’d forbidden him from sleeping on the couch. He didn’t even sound too annoyed by the deal, he’d surely slept in worse places.

“Shut up,” Claire replied immediately, and even reached out her foot so she could poke Chris with her toe. “It’s a sleepover! Deal with it.”

There was a grumble from the pile of blankets that probably was Chris. “I’m not braiding anyone’s hair,” he announced, but he failed miserably in trying to sound annoyed, the amusement in his tone evident to every single one of them. 

“What are we, twelve?” Jake asked, in a similar tone that aimed for annoyed but landed on amused.

“You boys are just grumpy because I have the best ideas,” Claire said, giving a long suffering sigh. 

While they were bickering, Leon rolled over and threw an arm around Piers’ waist. He pressed close enough so he could bury his nose into Piers’ neck, and pressed a soft kiss there. He was sure the other man felt him smile against his skin even as he then groaned theatrically. “Can you please kick them out?” he asked, loud enough that everyone definitely heard. 

Piers only laughed.

*

It took over a week to sort everything into their rightful places, but when they’d gotten most of that done the place was slowly beginning to look like they wanted it to. Not that either one of them was very keen on interior decorating, but it was still nice to have the house look lived in, instead of bare furniture without anything else.

Piers’ mother had insisted on giving them her mother’s fine china, saying it was a family heirloom, and no matter how much Piers argued against it she wouldn’t listen to a single word. So they got a shipment of three large cardboard boxes full of plates and cups and whatever else, packed neatly so that they wouldn’t break during transportation. And when Sherry heard about that she insisted on helping to pick out a proper display case for them. 

“So,” Piers frowned, looking at the pile of whatever he was now supposed to build the display case from. “You didn’t want to buy one that came pre-assembled?” 

“C’mon,” Leon grinned at him, not sorry in the slightest. “You’re always saying how handy you are. I figured you’d enjoy the challenge.” Plus it really had been the best looking option, both he and Sherry had agreed on that, and it couldn’t be _that_ hard to put together a few shelves and glass doors, with clear instructions too. 

Piers couldn’t really deny that, but he still grumbled a little, crouching down to grab the instruction leaflet from on top of the pile. “I still don’t get why we need this,” he argued weakly. “It’s not like we’ll ever use the china, we could just leave everything in the boxes.”

“But it’s an _heirloom_!” Sherry burst out. She had surprisingly strong feelings about family heirlooms. Maybe because it was something she’d never had herself. “It’s supposed to be showcased!”

“I hate to say this,” Jake cut in from where he’d been lounging on the couch, nodding towards Piers. “But I agree with the kid.”

Immediately Piers’ mouth dropped open and he gave Jake a scandalized look. “I’m _older_ than you!”

Leon didn’t let that escalate into another argument, even if it probably would be more them having fun bickering than actually fighting at this point. He stepped closer, until his shoulder brushed against Piers’ and caught his attention. And when their eyes met he spoke softly. “It would make your mom happy.”

So Piers huffed, he rolled his eyes, but at the same time there was a hint of a smile and it was obvious that he’d already given in. “Fine.”

A moment later Leon and Sherry were standing in the kitchen, both holding a cup of coffee, watching with amusement how the building of the display case was coming along. Sherry sighed contently, leaning back against the counter as she took a sip of coffee. “This is nice,” she said, her expression open and earnest as she looked up at Leon. “That I get to just drop by to see you. This almost feels like… we’re a normal family.”

She sounded clearly wistful and Leon nodded, unsure of what else to say but “Yeah.” He did consider her family, always wanted what was best for her. And although they hadn’t gotten to spend time together in over a decade, in the past few years they’d picked up the slack, starting from phone calls and getting to this. And Leon agreed. It _was_ nice. 

“You know,” Sherry said after a pause, as she glanced thoughtfully towards the living area. “I thought they’d get on each other’s nerves more. But apparently they _like_ each other.” She grinned, her eyes sparkling. 

“Yeah they do,” Leon agreed with a laugh. “I didn’t really see that coming.”

“It’s good though,” Sherry added, a little more seriously. “Jake doesn’t really have friends. He could use a few.”

In the living room Jake was explaining vividly how he thought a shelf should be attached, while Piers ignored him and did it his own way. Neither of them seemed to be annoyed by the other anymore though, they were coexisting peacefully and Jake even kept handing Piers whichever tool he needed at that moment without even being asked. 

Leon couldn’t stop smiling, as it was all just so domestic. He didn’t need to yell at Sherry through an inferno of fire, or throw himself between her and bullets, but they could have something as mundane as coffee on a slow afternoon. And seeing how Piers and Jake were beginning to get along better and better? It meant more possibilities for visits, more chances to spend time with Sherry every now and then. 

He could feel Sherry’s eyes on him, but it still took him by surprise when she reached out and gave his forearm a squeeze. “I’m happy for you,” she said softly, her eyes shining with affection. “You deserve this.”

The words made Leon’s cheeks heat up, and without seeing it he knew that a light pink was dusting his cheeks by now. “I don’t…” he started, but stopped before he could get any further. Why would he play this down? Especially in front of Sherry. He liked his life as it was, and maybe he had gone through enough shit to deserve some blessedly boring times, too. 

So he fought down his instinct to brush it off and instead decided on honesty. “Thank you,” he said, “It’s still hard to believe sometimes, y’know. My life is… surviving through zombie outbreaks, not settling down in a quaint little house. With grandma’s fine china.”

“Maybe it’s time for it to change.” She shrugged a little. “Maybe you’ve done your part, and it’s time to give others a chance for some heroics, too.” 

Leon knew she was teasing, that she knew it wasn’t quite that easy. Yet he rather took the easygoing moment, unwilling to break it with anything more serious. So all he did was grin at her. “Yeah. Maybe.”

*

One of Piers’ favorite things was when they sometimes got a slow morning together, when they could just not set the alarm and sleep in for as long as they felt like. Leon was even less a morning person than he was, and if he was woken too early he was unable to even start to function before his first cup of coffee for the day. It was so bad that Piers had jokingly suggested they should just keep the coffeemaker on the bedside table, just for those before dawn wake-ups that were bound to happen.

But then there were mornings like this. When the sun was peeking into the room, bathing it in golden hues, and all they had to do was snuggle back into the covers and each other and enjoy not having to go anywhere. When Piers blinked his eyes open the first thing he registered was Leon pressed against his back, an arm wrapped around his waist, and that already made him smile contently. 

“Good morning,” Leon mumbled, his breath ghosting over Piers’ ear. His voice was raspy from the lack of use, but there was something else laced into it, something that made Piers shiver lightly. 

“Morning,” he answered, tilting his head enough to brush his lips over Leon’s chin, mouthing along his jaw lazily. “How long have you been awake?” He shifted a little, easily catching Leon’s hand to lace their fingers together. 

“Not that long,” Leon answered nonchalantly, the hint of a smile on his face widening to a grin. He gave Piers’ hand a squeeze, but then released it to trail his fingers downwards, until he was tracing the waistband of Piers’ boxers. They usually wore nothing else to bed, kept warm enough even in the colder months with the way they tended to gravitate towards each other and seek for closeness even when asleep. “I was kind of hoping you’d wake up, though.”

Immediately Piers’ dick stirred with interest. There might once come the day when he’d say no to morning sex, but today was not that day. So he shifted, groaning a little as he pressed his ass back against Leon’s crotch and felt how hard he was already. “You could’ve woken me, you know.” He spoke distractedly, not even really paying any attention to what he was saying as he was more interested in the nimble fingers that were sliding into his underwear, immediately wrapped around his cock for a couple of tentative strokes. 

“I like watching you,” Leon said, humming a little as he felt Piers react to the touches, obviously pleased by it. “Even though you snore.” The boxers made the movements of his hand a little awkward, limiting the space he had, and impatiently he set out to get them out of the way. 

Piers was a willing accomplice, lifting his hips and kicking the garment off as soon as he could, and only waited for Leon to strip as well before settling right back against him. “That is a filthy lie,” he retorted, but he was way too sleepy and content to even pretend to be offended. Instead he just parted his thighs a little, tilting his head back so he could steal a kiss from Leon. 

Somewhere during it Leon had grabbed the bottle from the nightstand, and when the kiss broke he didn’t answer in words, but instead already took the next step. The lube felt cool on his fingers, and the first reaction from Piers was a shiver, but neither of them minded. Piers was sleepy and pliant in Leon’s arms as Leon gently prepared him, made sure he easily got to the third finger before even considering taking it further. 

As Leon was done with the prepwork he grinned mischievously against Piers’ neck, before wiping the remains of the lube right onto the middle of Piers’ chest. It earned him a mock-annoyed grunt and his hand was slapped away, but that was about the extent of their disagreement as they both had more important things to focus on. 

Still tucked behind Piers, Leon held him close as he slowly pushed in, both of them holding their breath as they focused on the sensation, on the almost unbearable intensity of the shared pleasure. The position they were in rendered the thrusts slow, but it wasn’t like either of them had the presence of mind for hard and fast now anyway. It was languid and almost lazy, a damn near perfect start for a morning. 

Lazily Piers kept stroking himself, kept the strokes as slow as the thrusts were, hoping he could make the moment last longer. It was unfair, really, how fast they were getting closer to the edge, breaths uneven and movements getting more erratic, more uncontrolled. Leon slid a hand over Piers’ abdomen, up his chest and all the way to his pecs, until he could press an open palm right over where Piers’ heart was beating in his chest. 

Piers shuddered against him, eagerly trying to meet the movement every single time Leon fucked into him, all slow and teasing and goddamn maddening. It was overwhelming, the last remaining traces of sleep mixing with the haze of pleasure, the sheets tangling at their feet as they kept moving against one another. 

Then Leon’s lips were right there against Piers’ ear, his breath hot against it. “Hey, Piers,” he said, voice pitched deliciously low, the tone alone enough to make the younger man shiver helplessly. The corner of his mouth quirked up, and he pressed a soft kiss on the side of Piers’ neck, waiting until he had his full attention before going on.

“I love you.”

Immediately Piers inhaled sharply, his eyes flying open as he came with a shudder. Leon’s voice was like ringing in his ears, echoing over and over, as he shuddered time and time again with the force of his orgasm, uselessly just along for the ride. Only distantly he registered how Leon’s movements behind him got more erratic, until he followed, got tipped over the edge as well. 

There was just enough strength left for Piers to summon that he could tilt his head and capture Leon’s lips with his own, the kiss unfocused and lazy, more just them sharing breath than anything more controlled. They were both smiling into it, though, and Piers didn’t even try to hold back the breathless chuckles that bubbled from his chest. “Is there a better way to start a day,” he mumbled as soon as he found his voice. 

“Well, I don’t know,” Leon answered, grinning as he patted Piers’ chest a little. Gingerly he pulled back, and although he knew they should probably get up and get into the shower he just settled right back in and urged Piers to turn around, until they were tucked right against one another. “I gotta say I enjoyed the time you woke me up with a blowjob, though.”

Piers pressed his nose into Leon’s throat, huffing out a little laugh. “Sure that was a good morning, too.” The last of the words were already slurred together, barely coherent as he was getting sleepier by the second. There wasn’t even a chance for Leon to reply anything to that before he realized Piers was already asleep right against him. 

There was an intense wave of sheer affection splashing through Leon’s chest, and he carded his fingers through Piers’ short hair, focused on the way he was breathing so slowly and steadily. Maybe it didn’t hurt to take a nap. After all, they had nowhere to be right now. 

Content and warm, Leon was fast asleep within minutes.

*

Truth to be told, Leon had already forgotten all about promising to go to the ice rink with Piers, until one day he came home to a couch full of hockey gear. Piers had gone shopping, and looked so genuinely pleased about himself that Leon couldn’t help but chuckle. “You know we could’ve just… rented skates? I don’t actually need the whole getup,” he pointed out as he stepped closer and grabbed the helmet that was sitting on top of the pile.

“And run the risk of you cracking your head open?” Piers arched an eyebrow. He shifted closer, reached out to knock his knuckles lightly against the side of Leon’s head. “It’s a pretty head. I’d rather you keep it in one piece.”

“This shit is expensive though,” Leon couldn’t help but argue. Sure he hadn’t played hockey in …twenty years now, but he still knew it wasn’t exactly the cheapest of hobbies. 

Piers only moved in closer and sneaked an arm around Leon’s waist, pressed his chin on his shoulder and grinned at him, a little cross-eyed from how close their faces were. “C’mon. It’s not like we buy each other gifts all the time, I can afford it. And I wanted to. I’ve been looking forward to this for _weeks_.”

Immediately Leon’s resistance melted away and he just shook his head a little, grinning despite himself. “Fine,” he relented, turning the helmet around in his hands. One-handedly he popped it on, and to his surprise it was the exact right size. “How do you know it’ll all fit?” he asked, already wondering if everything else was perfect from the skates to the stick and to the rest of the equipment.

“Do you really think,” Piers started, at the same time slipping a hand underneath Leon’s shirt, the warm touch making Leon instinctively lean closer against him. “That by now,” he dropped his voice low, his grin audible in his voice, “I haven’t memorized _every. Single. Inch_ of you?”

Leon was torn between laughing and just kissing that smug grin right off the other man’s lips. So he did neither, and instead nudged Piers with his elbow. “If you want us to go anywhere today you’ll have to stop seducing me,” he pointed out as dryly as he managed. 

Laughing, Piers let go of him. “ _Fine_. Wanna grab something to eat before we go?”

Somehow they did get to the ice rink on time, and as Piers had promised every single thing was like made for Leon. And he still looked so smug about it that for a moment Leon considered really falling flat on his ass the second he stepped on ice, just to prove some kind of a point. Piers couldn’t _always_ be right, he would get absolutely unbearable.

But as they got there, saw a bunch of Piers’ BSAA friends already skating around the rink, there was so much pure excitement radiating from Piers that Leon couldn’t bring himself to do anything to tamper with it. So he got on ice, allowed Piers to drag him to the group and do a round of introductions. Some of the names were familiar, and two of them Leon had actually even met in passing. But he didn’t work with the BSAA that often, so although every single one of them seemed to know _him_ , he was left at a disadvantage. 

Not that names or ranks mattered when they actually started passing the puck around. At first it was friendly warm ups, getting the blood pumping and getting into it properly. Piers had been assigned goalie for the day and he seemed to be really into it, and more than once Leon caught himself just looking at him, content to see him so carefree. 

Things did shift more intense when they actually started a game. It was three on three, plus goalies, one single referee making sure things were kept mostly in accordance with the rules. 

For the first period Leon was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t notice anything was off. He really hadn’t skated in ages, hadn’t held a hockey stick in even longer, and although muscle memory seemed to work to his advantage he still had to put his mind to it. It felt good, though, to focus on the game and not think of anything else. 

But as the second period started Leon finally realized what was going on. Sure the others tackled him, tried to intercept his passes, and on the surface level made it look like he was just one of the guys. Yet they never _really_ body checked him against the boards, or charged at him like at the others. Not even when he started to experimentally goad them to it, the best he could without making it outright obvious. 

Of course if Leon noticed it, Piers noticed it. By the time the second break rolled around he skated from between the goalposts, pulling off his helmet as he gave a disbelieving look to his friends. “Are you guys _taking it easy_ on him?” he asked incredulously. “You star struck _idiots_.”

The sheepish looks he got in response were more than enough. That was exactly what was going on. Leon sort of wanted to laugh. Sure he knew that a lot of BSAA and DSO looked up to him, simply because he’d done this for so long. He’d been one of the first, there were stories about what he’d done, and probably most of those stories had been blown out of proportions and made him sound like a bigger hero than he really was. But he still hadn’t expected the idolizing looks from _these_ guys. 

“C’mon,” one of the guys – Joe, if Leon remembered correctly – argued. “He took down the entire Los Illuminados single handedly!”

“Yeah, and he got through Raccoon City on his first day!” Another one, whose name Leon couldn’t remember for the life of him, interjected. “If that had been _my_ first day I would’ve died twenty minutes in!”

“Did you ever read the report he did on the Jungle outbreak!?”

“He’s survived a plane crash and a helo crash and—”

They were all speaking at once, listing off reasons why they thought they had _every right_ to be star struck in Leon’s presence, and honestly? It was kind of embarrassing. Leon shifted a little on his feet, considering if he could slip out of there without anyone noticing. This reminded him of why he spent so much of his time with only the Redfields, who had known him _before_ he was famous in this field, and Sherry and Jake who didn’t give a damn of the stories about heroism. 

Piers huffed, cutting the ramblings off with it. He leveled the group with a look, clearly entirely unimpressed. “And if he’s tough enough to survive all of that, what makes you think he can’t take a proper body checking?” he challenged. 

And it worked. The entire bunch looked properly chastised, a little embarrassed, and there were even a few mumbled ‘sorry about that’s and ‘yeah sorry man’s. 

The third period, Leon got tackled so hard the air was punched out of him twice. It was _great_.

*

It had been a while since Leon had a mission go _straight to hell_.

The blood on his hands would not come off. No matter how much Leon kept scrubbing and scrubbing, until his hands were raw and pink from it, all he had to do was close his eyes and he saw them stained red again. His eyes were burning, the shallow inhalations barely getting air past the lump in his throat, and he _didn’t know what to do_. The blood didn’t come off. 

With an angry huff Leon gave up and grabbed the towel to dry his hands off. His hands were shaking so much the towel ended up on the floor, and for some reason that was the last drop. That broke the camel’s back. He based his hands on the edge of the sink, squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to breathe in deep once, twice, three times. 

As he kept counting his breaths the shaking of his hands against the countertop lessened, until he felt like he was in control again. It was a precarious thing, but he focused on maintaining it. There was no way he could let his mind slip back to— _No_. 

Leon stepped out of the bathroom, and his heart skipped a beat as he realized he wasn’t alone. How had he not heard Piers come back home? The younger man was standing in the middle of the living room, fiddling with the remote control. He looked focused, like he was looking for something specific, and it even took him a second to notice Leon standing there.

As soon as he did, though, there was a smile on his face, and he relaxed visibly at the mere sight of Leon. “Hey, I didn’t realize you were back yet,” Piers said, setting the remote down so he could approach. 

With a soft sigh Leon allowed himself to be hugged, sank right into the embrace and buried his nose into Piers’ neck. He inhaled deep, the familiar scent doing more to calm him down than his own breathing exercises in the bathroom had done. He almost felt like he could speak without his voice breaking, but then Piers beat him to it.

“How did it go?”

Immediately the panic was back. The second the question registered Leon saw the dead eyes staring up at him, the face twisted into an unnatural grimace, the sticky, warm blood coating his hands as he held the very person he’d been supposed to _protect_. The thick smell of iron, of death, hung heavy around him and he couldn’t shake the memory off, no matter how much he tried.

Wordlessly Leon pulled back from the embrace, and somehow he managed an awkward mimic of a smile. “I’ll have to finish the initial report,” he said mechanically, not even really knowing what he was saying. And he saw it on Piers’ face that he wanted to argue so he fled, he fucking _fled_ , escaped into the study and locked the door behind himself. 

And that made him feel even worse. But he wasn’t equipped to talk about this yet, not now, couldn’t bear to receive a look of sympathy when he deserved none, when he’d fucked up so royally it had ended up in—

Leon shook his head. It didn’t help clear it at all. He sat down heavily in the chair, leaning his elbows on the desk so he could bury his face in his palms. 

He was too old for this shit. He’d seen _too much_ of this shit.

The panic was replaced by sheer exhaustion, tiredness seeping into every single molecule of his being. A part of him wanted to go back out there, soothe the worry that was no doubt etched on Piers’ face and revel in the comfort he’d no doubt get from him. Yet another part wanted to stay right here, alone in the darkness, so that he wouldn’t need to face anyone. 

Leon had no idea how much time had passed as he got out of the room. The house was dark except for what light got out from the bedroom, and silently Leon headed that way. He found Piers sitting on the bed, flipping through something on his phone. When he noticed Leon there he looked up, worry clear on his face. “You okay?”

And that was exactly what Leon couldn’t talk about. Not now. So he hung his head, his voice small as he forced words out. “Could we just go to bed?” He wanted to ease the worry at least somewhat, so he added “I’ll tell you in the morning.”

For a moment Piers looked at him, studied him carefully, but then he nodded. “Sure.”

Relief flooded through Leon so intensely that the smile he got out was genuine. In silence he changed for bed, slipped under the covers and reached to switch off the lights. Piers fell asleep pretty much the second his head hit the pillow and with a stab of guilt Leon thought that he’d probably had a long, exhausting day too. 

For a long while Leon stayed there, so still he was barely breathing. Sleep wouldn’t come, he couldn’t even close his eyes without going back to the happenings of the day. So he watched Piers sleep, as always finding comfort in his presence alone. 

Eventually Leon got up, careful not to disturb the other man’s sleep.

*

Something startled Piers awake and it took him a moment to orient himself to where he was and what time it was. It was so dark he couldn’t see in the room, but as he reached out for Leon’s side of the bed the sheets were cold, the covers thrown back. For a moment Piers waited, hoping that Leon maybe just got up to use the bathroom or something. But as the minutes ticked by, it became apparent that he wasn’t returning.

With a sigh Piers heaved himself up, already mourning the loss as it would’ve been so much nicer to stay in bed under the warm covers. But he couldn’t deny that he was worried. Leon had gotten back from some kind of protective detail only hours ago, and he’d been uncharacteristically silent and subdued the entire evening. He’d barely even spoken anything. 

It wasn’t like Leon to withdraw quite this much. He’d been so touch starved most of his life that it was more likely for him to get almost clingy when he was feeling shitty. Especially nowadays, when he didn’t feel like he had to keep up appearances and act aloof, but could just completely be himself around Piers.

Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand Piers wandered from the bedroom, taking a peek into the bathroom just in case on his way. The living room was dark, but there was a sliver of light coming in through the doorway to the kitchen, so Piers headed that way. 

As he’d predicted, Leon was sitting at the kitchen table, a mugful of coffee in front of him. He was cradling it in his hands like he just couldn't let go, and it seemed like he'd been there for a while now. Piers walked to the coffee maker and as he'd suspected, it was stone cold. So, wordlessly he emptied the pot and set out to make fresh, hot coffee instead.

Throughout it all he waited. Waited for Leon to say something, to breach the subject of what was bothering him. He'd learned during their time together that there was no forcing Leon to talk about whatever was on his mind. He'd need to mull it over and bring it up in his own time. When he was ready.

As soon as the coffee was done in a few minutes Piers poured it into two mugs. He took a hold of the cold mug Leon was still holding on to and Leon let it go easily, allowed him to replace it with another, one with steaming hot coffee in it. Then Piers took his own mug, and sat down on the other side of the table. He stretched out his legs, his ankle pressing against Leon's under the table, and again, he waited.

It didn't take long now, not before Leon started fiddling with the mug, gaze fixed onto it. "I didn't choose this, you know," he started, his voice so silent it was hard to even focus on at first. With every word it got more solid, though, as he obviously made up his mind that he wanted to get the words out. "Or I did, but not willingly."

The first thought in Piers' mind was panic, his thoughts flashing back to their brief breakup, to the way Leon had pulled back from him and shut off. This felt different, though. Leon wasn't trying to distance himself from him, even met his eyes briefly before going on with a sigh.

"I was just a regular cop, you know. Fresh off the academy, young and stupid and gullible. Tired and hung over and confused, pissed off to no end. I have no idea how I lived through that day." Leon paused. He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, closed his eyes for a second, and that's when Piers reached out and placed a hand on his wrist.

The touch made a faint smile ghost over Leon's lips and he released his hand from the coffee mug, turning it over so that he could catch Piers' hand in his own. "But I did, I survived. And someone took notice. Because the next thing, I was told I'd have to work for the government if I wanted to keep Sherry safe." Reflexively he tightened his hold of Piers' hand, but Piers just squeezed right back, offering wordless support the best he could.

"They fucking _threatened_ her." There was a note of anger in Leon's voice, still after all of the time that had passed. "So I said yes. I took the job. And they made her a test subject anyway. At least her being an agent now is an improvement compared to that."

For the first time Leon took an actual sip of the coffee, and when he met Piers' eyes again he looked almost relieved, glad that he'd gotten the words out. "I just. I thought you should know. I didn't get into this line of work because I'm such a good person or anything. I got blackmailed into it, and then I just—"

"Leon," Piers interrupted softly, squeezing Leon's hand. "You _are_ a good person. Everything you've done is to help others. Even when you weren't forced to." He paused, searching for words. There were no adequate ones to describe what he felt. He was beyond honored, humbled by the way Leon was opening up to him, telling him all of this. He was angry, enraged beyond all reason because of how Leon had been treated.

And most of all, he was floored by how, despite all of that, Leon had turned out the way he had.

"Maybe you became an agent because you were forced to," Piers started again, holding Leon's gaze with his own, "but no one could've forced you to be so fucking _brilliant_. You've helped countless people and bent over backwards just for the chance of doing some good in this world. Don't think even for _a second_ that you're not a good person."

There was a shimmer in Leon's eyes that he quickly tried to blink away. Still, his voice was a little choked as he spoke. "I'm just so tired. I want to help, but... I want to live, too. I can't keep doing this when I'm eighty."

"Leon." Piers could feel his heart breaking. He got up, circled the table and practically dropped down on his knees in front of the chair, pulling Leon into a hug. Leon all but collapsed against him, and together they shifted until they were sitting on the floor, clinging on to each other, Leon's face buried into the crook of Piers' neck.

And Piers hoped, with all he had, that he could fix this. He wished he could make everything right. But he didn't have that kind of power. So he kept holding Leon, kept rubbing his back in slow, soothing circles. "We'll figure it out," he whispered into Leon's hair, "we'll work it out somehow."

Leon drew in a shuddering breath, and finally he was beginning to relax. Piers already thought that Leon must've fallen asleep, as exhausted as he was, but then there was a whispered, barely audible "Thank you."

The words drew a smile from Piers and he closed his eyes. "Anytime."

For a long while they stayed right there, on the kitchen floor, until Piers’ legs started feeling kind of numb from the cramped position. So he nudged Leon a little, pressed a soft kiss onto his temple. “You think you could sleep a bit?” he asked, voice silent, as if he was afraid to shatter the careful peace that had fallen around them. “Let me take you to bed?”

There was no hesitation in the way Leon nodded. He took a deep breath, pushing himself upright, and offered a hand to Piers to pull him up too. “I can try,” he said, and although the circles under his eyes were dark, the lines of his face exhausted, the smile he gave was genuine. “Let’s go.”

Without a word they headed back to the bedroom, slipped under the covers and immediately as they settled down Leon was like drawn into Piers. This was much more familiar ground to Piers, the way Leon was craving for closeness and wrapped around him like he’d never let go, instead of the withdrawn silence from before. 

So he set out to offer as much comfort as he could. He had an arm around Leon’s shoulders and he slid his hand up from Leon’s shoulder to the back of his head, threading his fingers into the soft hair. Already that had Leon relaxing, his breaths slowly evening out. 

In the end Leon was the one who fell asleep within minutes, while Piers stayed awake much, much longer. He stayed still not to wake Leon up, stared at the ceiling in the darkness of the room, and turned the happenings of the night over and over in his mind. One thing was for certain, Leon definitely needed a break. He needed to get out. If anyone, he deserved it.

And if there was anything Piers could do to make that happen, he would, in a heartbeat.


End file.
